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Being a Grown Up

A few times a week the thought will occur to me that I am just pretending to be a grownup. It’s like it’s a role that I’m playing, and I wonder if other people feel this way too. It isn’t necessarily that I feel like a child or even a teenager, it’s different, like I am somehow not equipped with the proper grownup tools or skills, and am an imposter.

I keep waiting for the day when I feel like a full-fledged grownup, but shouldn’t that already have happened by forty-four? I would have expected to be basking in all the glory and righteousness of my grownupness by now, but I’m still waiting. The times when I feel this the most are when I’m with my son, and am either talking with him about something he did that upset or disappointed me, or when I’m trying to give him advice. Total imposter time.

I would have been old enough to run for president nine years ago. (Isn’t 35 the minimum age?) Can you imagine what an imposter the president must feel like everyday? The sham that level of grownuping (grownupping? I don’t even know how to SPELL it!) would require just makes me want to take a nap…

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